Obeying Allah even in your Marriage

That Nikah is "half of our deen" is no mild statement; because, it requires a weighty number of hard work and religion to make
our unions the vision of tranquility that Allah intends for us.


So What does it take to 'dwell in tranquility' together with our spouses?

There is no exhaustive to-do list for a thriving partner just as there isn't any one-size fits all solution to marital challenges. On the other hand, the steps below outline the should start with a strong spiritual foundation- a key prerequisite to becoming a successful Muslim spouse.

Finally, Making Allah the center of one's marriage might help lead to making the spouses' hearts strong for each other.

Obeying Allah

The First and most crucial step to becoming a prosperous Muslim partner would be to try for a solid, wholesome relationship with your Creator. This means learning how to direct your thoughts, intentions, words and actions all toward pleasing Allah. More to the point, this means learning to live and love for the sake of Allah.

While This is a basic requirement for any healthy relationship in this planet, it's also perhaps one of the most difficult concepts to receive our heads around as as a society, we have not heard enough about this concept even in theory, let alone in practice.

Learning The way to enjoy for the sake of Allah is the most necessary step just because both you and your partner are individual, so fallible. Neither of you will remain lovable nor will your union always be desirable.

There will be ups and downs, times of hardship and ease. This is a fact of life. Allah nevertheless, is the only continuous, the only eternal and the only one who's constantly loving, forgiving, helping, healing and truly directing.

Know that Allah is the epicenter.

Therefore, putting all your primary love, dedication and action in this direction will reap you consistent benefits for your union and all facets of this world and the hereafter.

Loving for Allah means putting all of your hopes, expectations and desires on Allah. It means depending ultimately only on Allah to fulfill all your needs -- emotional, physical and outside.

This by no means implies that your spouse has no responsibilities towards you. It does imply, however, that even if he or she fails or is necessarily limited in certain aspects, your ultimate reliance depends upon Allah only. This comprehensive dependence and attachment only to God can save much heartbreak, disappointment as well as disillusionment down the street.

Quranic Way to Marriage

In the few ahkam the Quran comprises on marriage, there's a lot of wisdom on how we are to approach the most intimate of our principal bonds.

Have we really adopted these verses to the core of our marriage or are they left as simply glistening calligraphy we embed on our wedding invitations?

Tranquility. Happiness. Serenity. These are intended to be the objectives of marriage. The complete set up of our marriage life -- everything out of our ideas and words, to our houses, intimacy, finances, social activities and much more, should all be redirected at bringing peace into one another's lives.

We must ask ourselfs whether our efforts are responsible for fulfilling Allah's purpose of marital tranquility or in pursuit of our limited worldly understanding of marriage.

Are our attempts for the sake of living together in happiness or are they for the sake of feeding our lower selves and just fulfilling our worldly desires and requirements?

Our Wants have their place and importance; after all, Allah himself created them and supplied us with marriage in order to meet them. Moreover, among those oft-repeated prayers of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was to ask Allah to give him the best in this world and the hereafter.

However, When our worldly needs take precedence within the Quranic objective of tranquility for marriage, we digress from Allah's primary purpose for this sacred marriage.

Learn and Apply the Prophetic Approach to Marriage

Frequently, the principal pair of reference points we've for marriage include that of our parents, relatives, friends or what's depicted in films, tv and celebrity culture.

Regrettably Though, these reference points may not always demonstrate what a healthful Muslim union should look like.

Just as With all aspects of a Muslim's life, for union too, we have to visit the Prophetic approach for advice in every facet from the best way to choose a spouse, to the procedure for the marriage, the intimate relations, day to day lifestyle and most importantly on how best to deal with the benefits and tribulations that come with married life.

There Is much wisdom and practical tips one can gain from delving into the relationship Prophet Muhammad shared with each of his wives. This education has to be a prerequisite for anyone entering a Muslim union, primarily for understanding how to approach one's function as a husband or wife.

Two key challenges in almost any relationship, especially marriage, are in addressing each other's flaws and gaps and because of this, spending much of married life trying to 'fix' each other.

This approach overlooks the fact that finally, life and all of the roles one may play in it, such as that of a spouse, is all meant to be a journey in self improvement, so you can slowly but surely become the person that Allah desires them to become.

The core focus then must first be on self-improvement, as opposed to on 'spouse improvement.' Research also shows that all people, married or not, follow and learn better through example rather than only advice.

No one Practiced and understood this more than Prophet Muhammad (SAWS), that was known by his wife, Aisha, as a living example of the Quran. Actually, fuqaha have gone on record to say that a lot of the Prophet's Sunnah stems out of his actions rather than words. He was a man of action -- a spouse of actions.

This is not to say that one should not seek to enhance the self and the partner -- only to indicate a sensible and prudent approach in doing so. The lesson out of Prophet Muhammad in marriage and all relationship matters is apparent: Lead by example.

Do not Expect Perfection

Thanks To romantic comedies, tales that some rosy-eyed newly-weds talk or even the trend of intentionally or intentionally displaying ideal marital relationships on social media, a lot people have become expecting perfection from ourselves and from our spouses in marriage.

To get From the snare, first we have to internalize the truth that perfection belongs only to Allah. In fact, by default, makes us dumb.

To test Whether or not you've fully realized this truth, ask yourself: How do I react to my flaws? How do I respond to the defects of my spouse?

If you Find that you chance to beat yourself up when you make an error or are somewhat unpleasant with your spouse's limitations, you ought to question just how well you accept the fact that loyalty goes only to Allah.

Adjust Your fantasies from yourself and your spouse, accept that with marriage comes hardship and simplicity and learn to strive for excellence, instead of perfection.

Allah's Ahkam for Marriage

One of the best prayers in the Kitab of Allah for a successful union is given in the Quranic Surah Al-Furqan [25:74]. In referring to this prayer, a lot of the focus has always been on the 'coolness of their eyes'. Although this point is essential, it is equally necessary to focus on the ending of the prayer, which asks for aid in getting the pioneers of the righteous.

This Point truly puts into perspective the huge picture for union -- ultimately -- a prosperous marriage -- not just one that stays intact but one who does this with tranquility and coolness between the spouses -- such an achievement helps not only the two individuals or kids involved but can go onto positively affect society as a whole.

A truly Successful marriage, in the Islamic belief, can help to create positive leaders and role models out of their spouses and children -- for the best benefit of communities across the board and that in turn, can help humanity to flourish and progress.

The Order of the prayer -- requesting coolness in the partner and marriage and then help in getting leaders among the righteous permits for this change in the large picture focus we must have for our unions.

Moreover, a focus with this big picture can help one to persevere through the inevitable tough times in marriage and life.

Conclusion:

Nikah, exactly similar to every other aspect of this world, is merely a route to reaching our final destination: Allah and our house in paradise.

While Beginning with a strong spiritual base is simply the start to becoming a prosperous Muslim partner, it is an essential prerequisite to succeeding in marriage since it helps keep one's eyes on the ball.

Making God the core of a marriage will help to not only strengthen the hearts of both life partners to each other but may also lead to an accurate compass where the couple can browse through all the additional practical customs, characteristics and challenges that come with trying to become a successful Muslim partner.

Finally, In spite of the ideal focus and attempts -- the end results might not necessarily be exactly what we direly want. There could be continuous hardship and there is also the fact of marriages which don't work out.

However, When the center of marriage starts and finishes with Allah, no matter what the end result, as a Muslim, it can be a win-win scenario regardless -- provided the entire journey is leading to the ultimate purpose: To worship Allah.

Source: Happy Muslim Family